Tag Archives: human sexuality

Myth VS. Fact- Sex Toys

Being adventurous in any part of life brings new thrills, but what happens when you bring in into the bedroom?

Pure excitement, heightened senses, pain that turns into pleasure. You name it, it can happen.

There is a lot of negative stigma around sex toys, and I want to push away from those dated assumptions.

Here is a little Myth Vs. Fact about Sex Toys:

Sex Toys are for People Who Have Bad Sex Lives

MYTH

People use sex toys for many different reasons. I would never say a reason is because of a bad sex life.

Actually, people who feel comfortable enough to use toys may be thriving in bed.

Certain types of toys, such as a vibrator, can help you understand your body better. If you can find out what gets your off, why wouldn’t you want to do that

Sex Toys are Scary

Myth

This all depends on your take of what you are willing to do.

If you enjoy a vanilla sex life, toys are probably going to be a bit more intimidating, but that is okay.

It is important that you know how to use the toys, your partner included.

Last last thing you want is a gag ball in your mouth, when in reality you really really need some air.

SAFE WORDS are of utter importance. Before any games are played make sure you and your partner have a word for when the pain, choking, or experience is too intense.

Sex Toys are Dirty

Fact

Sex toys are dirty ;)…. and dirty…. it all depends on your take.

It is very important to keep your toys clean and stored properly.

If anything goes inside any part of your body, be sure to clean it properly to avoid any infection.

Some People Need Toys to Orgasm

Fact

This is nothing to be ashamed of.

There are many different types of sexual dysfunctions, and I don’t even like to call it that because I do not want people to feel ashamed.

Some men can not stay hard the entire duration of sex, but wearing a c-ring can keep the blood flow in the penis.

And some women have trouble climaxing with out a vibrator.

This does not make any human less valuable in bed. If your partner wants to use a toy, and you feel comfortable encourage it.

Sex toys have been around for decades . It is not a new fad.

If you ever decide to experiment make sure you know how to use the toy, and you feel comfortable with the person you are with .

Abstinence is not Sexual Education

couple love bedroom kissing
Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Sexual Education is something American Children lack. I think anyone who went to public or private school can understand this.

I can recall numerous events where I was told to not have sex because all these terrible disgusting things will happen to me.

In 8th grade, we had a “Sex Educator” come in and had a piece of tape and stuck it on multiple peoples shirts. As the tape wore down, it didn’t stick.

The metaphor this woman taught us was that each different shirt was equivalent of a sexual partner, and that we pretty much were useless if we have multiple sexual partners… WHAT!?

There are just so many things wrong with teaching teenagers that. Your number of partners does not define you. Your sexual orientation does not define you. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS LIKE A PIECE OF TAPE WITH FUZZES ON IT.

Why are schools still teaching these uneducated methods? Stop teaching the bull shit and get real.

 

Humans, by nature, are sexual beings. Yes, there is a right time and a right place and education needed to know before having sexual intercourse.

Although, How are young people supposed to get valuable knowledge if no one is teaching it to them??

When I was 11 I did not  think to google what is safe sex. I was scared of sex because of what I had been manipulated to believe in school, I didn’t want to become a “worthless piece of tape.”

I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me later in life to respect myself and how to protect myself, but not every one has that bond with their family.

Start teaching about everything that sex entails, there are age appropriate ways to talk to your children about sex.

Start with teaching your child to respect others. If your child wants to hug another child, and the second child does not want it, that is a lesson to teach your child about consent.

Tell them just because they want a hug does not mean they will always get what they want.

 

As children grow older, teach them  about safe sex.

Show them how to use a condom, take you daughter to the doctor to get on birth control, have talks with them to make the comfortable on the topic.

It is okay to be informative, this does not mean your young adult is going to have sex at 15, but it might.

Wouldn’t you rather them be safe and not risk teen pregnancy because they knew what they were doing?  From experience, I waited to have sex because I was informed of everything that goes along with it.

I am proud that I waited until I was out of high school, because at that point I was ready.

Everyone has a different point of life when you know the time is right.

Stop teaching that sex until marriage is the only way to go.

If you chose that path great for you, you have awesome self control, but do not make sexually active humans feel bad about their choices.

If you don’t chose that path, it is a great time to experiment! Learning what your lover/lovers like can only teach you some lessons as well.

 

Please stop teaching our youth about false realities.

Stop scaring people into thinking if you get chlamydia you are a disgusting human.

If you did your research you would know that is it very curable.

Start being sex positive, start teaching children how to avoid getting STI’s and becoming a parent too young. We are all teachers because we all have had experiences. Share the lessons you learned, and teach what you wish you knew.

 

If you need advice on how to share real sex education please reach out.

How To Maintain Your Sex Drive

If you are reading this, I get the idea that you love sex, or maybe you once loved sex and you want to love it again. Maybe you STILL love sex, but your drive for it has diminished. I get it. Life. Gets. Hard.  You get tired, totally understandable, but do yourself a favor and don’t give up that hobby of pleasure. What I want my readers to know is that I have studied sexuality in curriculum and in the the real world. I am not a licensed therapist or  your doctor, but what I can tell you are things I have studied and learned throughout my adult life. So how about I tell you how to keep that libio up, up, up(literally for my biologically male readers)!

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  1. Exercise- Keep yourself in shape. Not just so you feel good, but so you can  perform well. Going to the gym 30 minutes a day will boost your endorphins, I am not sure by how much? but it will. You know that feeling you get when you have a kick ass work out? Imagine that after having sex, which is how it should always feel! If you do not like going to the gym, i’ll let you in on a secret workout as well. SEX. Thats right, there is that new saying “30 minutes a day keeps the doctor away”…. right?…. Maybe…
  2. Separate Work Vs. Real Life- I know you hear this all the time, but really let it sink in.   How many of you go home and stress about tomorrows work load? I know I am guilty of this as well. This is something that may take time, but it will come. If you have the option to, leave work where it belongs…at work. When you get home, grab your boo, and just cuddle, cuddle naked! See where that takes you.
  3. Have Self Confidence- I do not care if you think you are fat, flubby, whatever you want to call it. Feel sexy about yourself!! When you feel good about yourself, you want someone all over you. I remember if I would go out and not shave my legs I would be so terrified someone would not think I was unattractive. Since I have learned to let go of what people think about me, I say screw it. I look in the mirror with my harry legs, and I’m like damn.. my baby still loves me because I love myself.
  4. Diet- No, I am not telling you to diet, I am simply telling you to watch your diet. Foods/ drinks you put into your body truly can cause sexual “malfunctions” You have heard of whiskey dick, correct? (If you haven’t please e-mail me I will fill you in on all the details) Well, it is more than just alcohol that causes potential sexual mishaps . This also includes processed foods, diet sodas which contains aspartame which messes with those serotonin levels, even drinking out of a plastic water bottle (which you should totally just get a reusable one right now) can harm your reproductive system( calling out to you males!) . Be cautious of what goes in your body, not just for sexual purposes, but because you have one body and need to take care of it.  Try consuming these foods for a little boost: Spinach, Dark chocolate, Green tea, Ginger (not my dog).
  5. My Last tip of the day, Sleep- Get plenty of rest. If you sleep well, pretty much every thing you can control in your life gets better. Do you have trouble sleeping? Well, saddle up and go for a ride if you know what I mean. Falling asleep after an orgasm is guaranteeing dreams of puppies and flowers.   If your partner is not there, it is okay to masturbate too, ya know. Nothing relaxes you quite like pleasure.

Well there ya have it folks, some simple tips to keep the sex engine revving. Now go ahead and do what you need to do to have your self a damn good night. If you need any further guidance, don’t be shy. I wont tell yo mama what you plan on doin. Reach out! I am the easiest person to talk to, and I will give you advice to the best of my knowledge.

#TalkNastyWithNic