Tag Archives: life

A letter to Anxiety…

Dear Anxiety,

Why do you feel the constant need to hang around?

You feel like a bad friend that wont go away. You are negative and insecure. I don’t mean to be rude, but you make my life harder.

Why do you make my life harder? I have more important issues to focus on.

I don’t need to be in the middle of a meeting feeling dizzy and nervous and have to walk out because I feel like I am going to be sick. There is no reason for you to do that to me.

Even when we are around people you know,  you still give me uneasy feelings around people who I am comfortable with.

Why do I fear you?

When I travel, why do these thoughts come into my head that “this car will come in your lane, or that person is going to rear end you.”

Why are you uncontrollable?

Meditation, working out, healthy eating, self-love… When will it be enough for you?

Endless tears, panic-attacks, anger, irritability, arguments you cause….. Can you please stop?

I am working on myself to be better every day, but somehow you are sneaky and come back into my life, I refuse to let you take over me. You will not win.

Oh anxiety,  I will defeat you.

XOXO

The Stronger Version Of Me

 

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To all my readers who suffer from anxiety. You are not alone. You are not insane. Your mental health is important. I understand what it is like to have no one understand what you are going through. Stay strong and stay tuned for articles about how to deal with your anxieties, and how to maintain your mental health.

 

Feel free to share how you deal with your anxiety. I love new Ideas and maybe someone else will need to read your advice.

 

 

 

Benefits of Working a Job You Enjoy

After you finish school, you realize it is time to put your big boy or girl pants on and start a job. With not too much thought into it, you take a job that will pay you a 1/2 ass  hourly or salary rate and think that will be good for you.

You begin this so called “career” and everything seems fine to start.

After a few months you begin to realize you can not stand this job you are at, and it starts to alter your personal life.

You get home from work, and are too exhausted to even do anything because you are mentally drained.

Unless you are a lucky one who has started in a career you love. Which is amazing and you keep doing you honey!

If you are like the rest of us, it is time to make a career switch and look for something you love!

I am one of those who have had a few jobs since I graduated college. Working these dead end customer service jobs to make a living.  I had worked with micromanagers, sexual harassers, and just negative/ bitchy employees. It took such a toll on my personal life and relationships, and I was OVER IT.

When my husband got a promotion and we moved to the desert, there really were not any jobs for me. By luck, I was told about a temporary position at the company my husband works at.

Of course I took it. I really had no idea what to expect.

This job did not have the pay I want or really any benefits, so I went in a bit skeptical.  Funny though, because this has turned out to be the best job I have ever had.

I am learning  a multitude of different skills I never had a chance to learn in my dead end customer service jobs. Skills that will benefit me to move up in a career.

On top of that, the guys I work for are so supportive. They push me to be a better person and don’t make me feel unintelligent if I make a mistake. I have worked many jobs that will degrade you for a simple mistake, instead of showing you how to fix it.

Work culture should be very important to you when searching for your fit. If you don’t like the environment, you most likely wont enjoy your job. There is not a day that goes by where I am not dying laughing at someone’s joke where I am currently employed. Also, this work environment has a very family like feel. Everyone says hello, you know about their families, and you get to know each other. Working in a big part of our life, so you need to enjoy the people you are around.

The rewards I have gained from working a job I love are unmeasurable. I am happy. I do not stress out about making a mistake, because we are all human and that happens.  I am not exhausted after work, so I live a healthier life style. I don’t drive past work and cringe at the though of going back in. Yes, I have made some sacrifices such as the pay I want and the location where I want to be, but I know in the long run this will pay off.

 

If you are not happy at your current job, you are not stuck. We all have skills that can help us obtain a good job. Know that your happiness and mental health is more than your paycheck. Find your passion, and when you do your job will fit like a puzzle piece.

 

 

 

Keep Your Skin Soft This Winter

Hello my beautiful Hippy readers. I hope life is well, and you are in good spirits. I know we are approaching cold season, and for some of us we are already there.

Our skin is the mold of our body, so we need to protect it.

As some of you may or may not know, I have moved to the desert. While it may be a beautiful place, it is extremely dry and at first healthy skin was a struggle for me.

My skin is finally adjusting to this new climate, and I wanted to share some of my tips to help you keep your skin healthy as well.

person in white long sleeve shirt with both hands photo
Photo by Tatiana on Pexels.com

 

Lotion: As we all know, all of our skin types are different, so find a lotion that works for you. I have recently starting using Dr. Teals Lotion. It smells amazing and comes in a few different scents,  my favorite being the lavender. I also use the gold bond, cocoanut scented lotion which is great for extra dry skin. Every morning I wake up and apply to my neck, arms, and face( use caution if you have sensitive skin to avoid break outs), and every nights before I go to bed. Keeping your skin moisturized helps avoid wrinkles in the future.

 

Lips:  Keeping your lips soft is not so easy when the weather changes quickly. When they become dry and cracked it is very painful. For so long regular Chapstick was in my skincare regimen, and rumor has it your lips become addicted to the product and chapped lips become worse ( if someone finds this study let me know). The best product I have used is Aquaphor. I generally use this on my tattoos to help them heal faster, but since I had a lot left over I started using this for my lips. I apply through out the day, and they have managed to stay soft.

 

Baths: I love to get home from work, grab a good book, and soak in a hot bath to wind down from the work day. I have to be cautious of the heat and dehydration when bathing though. Epsom salts have become part of my routine when soaking. The salts are absorbed into your skin to relive muscle pain, and relax the body. I also feel my skin is baby soft when I get out. As I mentioned though, if you use these you can get dehydrated. Make sure you drink plenty of water while using these.

 

Water: This is everything. Water needs to be your main focus when trying to maintain your smooth skin. When you wake up try to drink a full glass of lemon water. Heat up the water, and drink it during your morning routine. Side note: I wake up early, and sometimes have stomach aches. When I drink warm lemon water, it helps aide my digestion and makes for a much better day.  You can also drink herbal teas, which hydrate you as well. My favorite tea ever is the Tazo- Passion Fruit Tea and I swear I can drink 10 cups a day.  Find a flavor you love, and stay hydrated! Make sure you are also getting enough electrolytes, this will keep your immune system healthy as well.

 

These are simple ways that you can maintain health skin. Stay looking youthful and keep that healthy glow amidst the brutal winter dryness. I know it may be hard, but you can do it!

What products have you used to avoid dry skin?!

 

XOXO

Abstinence is not Sexual Education

couple love bedroom kissing
Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Sexual Education is something American Children lack. I think anyone who went to public or private school can understand this.

I can recall numerous events where I was told to not have sex because all these terrible disgusting things will happen to me.

In 8th grade, we had a “Sex Educator” come in and had a piece of tape and stuck it on multiple peoples shirts. As the tape wore down, it didn’t stick.

The metaphor this woman taught us was that each different shirt was equivalent of a sexual partner, and that we pretty much were useless if we have multiple sexual partners… WHAT!?

There are just so many things wrong with teaching teenagers that. Your number of partners does not define you. Your sexual orientation does not define you. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS LIKE A PIECE OF TAPE WITH FUZZES ON IT.

Why are schools still teaching these uneducated methods? Stop teaching the bull shit and get real.

 

Humans, by nature, are sexual beings. Yes, there is a right time and a right place and education needed to know before having sexual intercourse.

Although, How are young people supposed to get valuable knowledge if no one is teaching it to them??

When I was 11 I did not  think to google what is safe sex. I was scared of sex because of what I had been manipulated to believe in school, I didn’t want to become a “worthless piece of tape.”

I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me later in life to respect myself and how to protect myself, but not every one has that bond with their family.

Start teaching about everything that sex entails, there are age appropriate ways to talk to your children about sex.

Start with teaching your child to respect others. If your child wants to hug another child, and the second child does not want it, that is a lesson to teach your child about consent.

Tell them just because they want a hug does not mean they will always get what they want.

 

As children grow older, teach them  about safe sex.

Show them how to use a condom, take you daughter to the doctor to get on birth control, have talks with them to make the comfortable on the topic.

It is okay to be informative, this does not mean your young adult is going to have sex at 15, but it might.

Wouldn’t you rather them be safe and not risk teen pregnancy because they knew what they were doing?  From experience, I waited to have sex because I was informed of everything that goes along with it.

I am proud that I waited until I was out of high school, because at that point I was ready.

Everyone has a different point of life when you know the time is right.

Stop teaching that sex until marriage is the only way to go.

If you chose that path great for you, you have awesome self control, but do not make sexually active humans feel bad about their choices.

If you don’t chose that path, it is a great time to experiment! Learning what your lover/lovers like can only teach you some lessons as well.

 

Please stop teaching our youth about false realities.

Stop scaring people into thinking if you get chlamydia you are a disgusting human.

If you did your research you would know that is it very curable.

Start being sex positive, start teaching children how to avoid getting STI’s and becoming a parent too young. We are all teachers because we all have had experiences. Share the lessons you learned, and teach what you wish you knew.

 

If you need advice on how to share real sex education please reach out.

Let’s be Sex Positive

I talk about sex to liberate people and encourage you not to be fearful of the inevitable. SEX! Being sex positive is more than just having sex.

It is about accepting all aspects of sexual orientation, practices, fetishes, and so on.

If you want to take the leap to be more accepting, I’ll tell you some easy ways how.

Stop slut shaming. I do not agree with derogatory terms.

The way you act, the choices you make, what you wear, and the people you sleep with do. not. define you. I know I have been called those terrible names for choices I have made, and I’m sure you may have been too.

If people feel the need to say those words, they are most likely fearful or envious of the choices you are bold enough to take. Some people long to be tied-up, blind folded, and experience new pleasures; yet, many don’t know how or when to try.

Even if you don’t agree with ones lifestyle stop talking shit. Okay?

Speak about sex as as adult. Please STOP teaching children to say “pee pee” or ” wee wee” as proper terms for genitalia.

You are teaching children to already have a stigma about sex when you teach them these childish terms.

Teach your child how and when to talk about these things. Teaching children the proper knowledge will not only guide them to be sex positive, but, it will teach them to respect their bodies as well as the bodies of others.

Don’t be scared to teach young ones reality, please stop teaching them about fairies and unicorns and get real. As for adults, the same advice goes. No one wants to hear about how you ” banged” this hot girl/girl you met at the bar.

Leave the gruesome details for your diary. It’s okay to share your sexual encounters as long as your partner is okay with it.

Sex is meant to be respected. There is a difference between a talking about your partner and referring to your adventure in a positive way. It took me a while to learn the difference, but I’m glad I did.

Be open to learning. Alfred Kinsey is the mastermind behind modern day sexuality.

His innovation and passion has curated information that we need to understand. Take a moment to read about his findings.

Google the Kinsey scale and see how you identify. Learning about your sexuality is a leap towards becoming sex positive. This way you can better understand your relationships.

Hold your judgment. You are allowed to have opinions, but keep your negativity to yourself. You never know what someone may have gone through that could shape who they are today. Be a nice person, put your clouded judgement aside, and see that all forms of sexuality as interesting and beautiful.

Being sex positive is a way to better this world. Love one another for who they are, and support who they want to be.

Xoxo #TalkNastyWithNic

Lets Talk About Sex Baby

Let’s talk about you and me…..

But really, let’s get talking. When is the last time you have had a serious conversation about sex?

It could be with your partner, friend, casual hook-up you name it. I’m not sure why we are living in a world that is STILL scared to talk freely about sex.

Now, I’m not telling you to tell every gruesome detail of your dirty encounters to your neighbors I am merely influencing you to be more open. Be open with yourself and with people you trust.

From a young age I learned what sex was. Was I ever scared of it? No.

Did I learn to respect myself? Yes. Absolutely.

I had a mother who told me about the birds and the bees, and as I got older the conversations progressed into more informative knowledge such as learning to protect myself from disease and pregnancy.

I was on birth control at a young age (for pms issues) but I had to be informed about all the facts that came along with it. I remember virgin, 16 year old me, was so uncomfortable with my doctor I couldn’t stop laughing.

She literally asked me if there was something on her face….. I was young, and so inexperienced that I had no idea what sex was but someday excited to find out.

In college, I had a friend recommended a class to me, human sexuality, and my goodness was it LIFE CHANGING.

What other class would I get to show bondage porn and tie up my classmate in? None…. this class had opened my eyes more then I ever though possible.

It taught be to be open with my sexual partner, it taught me consent and how to understand it, it taught me unforgettable life lessons I will forever pass on to my children.

When I started really talking about sex, I felt empowered.

People believe as a woman you are to be silent, discrete, and wait until marriage.

Well guess what?! It’s 2018.

That means women can do what ever they damn well please, and many of us do.

I can say that my sex life has benefited from being open immensely.

I tell my fiancé if I don’t like it, and guess what? I DONT ever have to deal with something I don’t like again.

Imagine this.. your partner keeps licking your ear, but it reminds you of a horrible time, but they keep doing it every time because you don’t say anything.. what is that going to do to your sex life? KILL.IT. All you need to say is ” I don’t like it when you…..” and if you are in a healthy relationship, that request will be respected.

This is just a start to a series I plan on writing, but if you want to improve your love making, nasty time, whatever you may call it… start with talking. Be open, and discuss in a positive manor. I promise you, only good things can happen.

Do you feel comfortable talking about sex? If yes why? If no please share? Any questions? Email me!