Tag Archives: realtionships

Myth VS. Fact- Sex Toys

Being adventurous in any part of life brings new thrills, but what happens when you bring in into the bedroom?

Pure excitement, heightened senses, pain that turns into pleasure. You name it, it can happen.

There is a lot of negative stigma around sex toys, and I want to push away from those dated assumptions.

Here is a little Myth Vs. Fact about Sex Toys:

Sex Toys are for People Who Have Bad Sex Lives

MYTH

People use sex toys for many different reasons. I would never say a reason is because of a bad sex life.

Actually, people who feel comfortable enough to use toys may be thriving in bed.

Certain types of toys, such as a vibrator, can help you understand your body better. If you can find out what gets your off, why wouldn’t you want to do that

Sex Toys are Scary

Myth

This all depends on your take of what you are willing to do.

If you enjoy a vanilla sex life, toys are probably going to be a bit more intimidating, but that is okay.

It is important that you know how to use the toys, your partner included.

Last last thing you want is a gag ball in your mouth, when in reality you really really need some air.

SAFE WORDS are of utter importance. Before any games are played make sure you and your partner have a word for when the pain, choking, or experience is too intense.

Sex Toys are Dirty

Fact

Sex toys are dirty ;)…. and dirty…. it all depends on your take.

It is very important to keep your toys clean and stored properly.

If anything goes inside any part of your body, be sure to clean it properly to avoid any infection.

Some People Need Toys to Orgasm

Fact

This is nothing to be ashamed of.

There are many different types of sexual dysfunctions, and I don’t even like to call it that because I do not want people to feel ashamed.

Some men can not stay hard the entire duration of sex, but wearing a c-ring can keep the blood flow in the penis.

And some women have trouble climaxing with out a vibrator.

This does not make any human less valuable in bed. If your partner wants to use a toy, and you feel comfortable encourage it.

Sex toys have been around for decades . It is not a new fad.

If you ever decide to experiment make sure you know how to use the toy, and you feel comfortable with the person you are with .

Let’s be Sex Positive

I talk about sex to liberate people and encourage you not to be fearful of the inevitable. SEX! Being sex positive is more than just having sex.

It is about accepting all aspects of sexual orientation, practices, fetishes, and so on.

If you want to take the leap to be more accepting, I’ll tell you some easy ways how.

Stop slut shaming. I do not agree with derogatory terms.

The way you act, the choices you make, what you wear, and the people you sleep with do. not. define you. I know I have been called those terrible names for choices I have made, and I’m sure you may have been too.

If people feel the need to say those words, they are most likely fearful or envious of the choices you are bold enough to take. Some people long to be tied-up, blind folded, and experience new pleasures; yet, many don’t know how or when to try.

Even if you don’t agree with ones lifestyle stop talking shit. Okay?

Speak about sex as as adult. Please STOP teaching children to say “pee pee” or ” wee wee” as proper terms for genitalia.

You are teaching children to already have a stigma about sex when you teach them these childish terms.

Teach your child how and when to talk about these things. Teaching children the proper knowledge will not only guide them to be sex positive, but, it will teach them to respect their bodies as well as the bodies of others.

Don’t be scared to teach young ones reality, please stop teaching them about fairies and unicorns and get real. As for adults, the same advice goes. No one wants to hear about how you ” banged” this hot girl/girl you met at the bar.

Leave the gruesome details for your diary. It’s okay to share your sexual encounters as long as your partner is okay with it.

Sex is meant to be respected. There is a difference between a talking about your partner and referring to your adventure in a positive way. It took me a while to learn the difference, but I’m glad I did.

Be open to learning. Alfred Kinsey is the mastermind behind modern day sexuality.

His innovation and passion has curated information that we need to understand. Take a moment to read about his findings.

Google the Kinsey scale and see how you identify. Learning about your sexuality is a leap towards becoming sex positive. This way you can better understand your relationships.

Hold your judgment. You are allowed to have opinions, but keep your negativity to yourself. You never know what someone may have gone through that could shape who they are today. Be a nice person, put your clouded judgement aside, and see that all forms of sexuality as interesting and beautiful.

Being sex positive is a way to better this world. Love one another for who they are, and support who they want to be.

Xoxo #TalkNastyWithNic

How To Maintain Your Sex Drive

If you are reading this, I get the idea that you love sex, or maybe you once loved sex and you want to love it again. Maybe you STILL love sex, but your drive for it has diminished. I get it. Life. Gets. Hard.  You get tired, totally understandable, but do yourself a favor and don’t give up that hobby of pleasure. What I want my readers to know is that I have studied sexuality in curriculum and in the the real world. I am not a licensed therapist or  your doctor, but what I can tell you are things I have studied and learned throughout my adult life. So how about I tell you how to keep that libio up, up, up(literally for my biologically male readers)!

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  1. Exercise- Keep yourself in shape. Not just so you feel good, but so you can  perform well. Going to the gym 30 minutes a day will boost your endorphins, I am not sure by how much? but it will. You know that feeling you get when you have a kick ass work out? Imagine that after having sex, which is how it should always feel! If you do not like going to the gym, i’ll let you in on a secret workout as well. SEX. Thats right, there is that new saying “30 minutes a day keeps the doctor away”…. right?…. Maybe…
  2. Separate Work Vs. Real Life- I know you hear this all the time, but really let it sink in.   How many of you go home and stress about tomorrows work load? I know I am guilty of this as well. This is something that may take time, but it will come. If you have the option to, leave work where it belongs…at work. When you get home, grab your boo, and just cuddle, cuddle naked! See where that takes you.
  3. Have Self Confidence- I do not care if you think you are fat, flubby, whatever you want to call it. Feel sexy about yourself!! When you feel good about yourself, you want someone all over you. I remember if I would go out and not shave my legs I would be so terrified someone would not think I was unattractive. Since I have learned to let go of what people think about me, I say screw it. I look in the mirror with my harry legs, and I’m like damn.. my baby still loves me because I love myself.
  4. Diet- No, I am not telling you to diet, I am simply telling you to watch your diet. Foods/ drinks you put into your body truly can cause sexual “malfunctions” You have heard of whiskey dick, correct? (If you haven’t please e-mail me I will fill you in on all the details) Well, it is more than just alcohol that causes potential sexual mishaps . This also includes processed foods, diet sodas which contains aspartame which messes with those serotonin levels, even drinking out of a plastic water bottle (which you should totally just get a reusable one right now) can harm your reproductive system( calling out to you males!) . Be cautious of what goes in your body, not just for sexual purposes, but because you have one body and need to take care of it.  Try consuming these foods for a little boost: Spinach, Dark chocolate, Green tea, Ginger (not my dog).
  5. My Last tip of the day, Sleep- Get plenty of rest. If you sleep well, pretty much every thing you can control in your life gets better. Do you have trouble sleeping? Well, saddle up and go for a ride if you know what I mean. Falling asleep after an orgasm is guaranteeing dreams of puppies and flowers.   If your partner is not there, it is okay to masturbate too, ya know. Nothing relaxes you quite like pleasure.

Well there ya have it folks, some simple tips to keep the sex engine revving. Now go ahead and do what you need to do to have your self a damn good night. If you need any further guidance, don’t be shy. I wont tell yo mama what you plan on doin. Reach out! I am the easiest person to talk to, and I will give you advice to the best of my knowledge.

#TalkNastyWithNic

Lets Talk About Sex Baby

Let’s talk about you and me…..

But really, let’s get talking. When is the last time you have had a serious conversation about sex?

It could be with your partner, friend, casual hook-up you name it. I’m not sure why we are living in a world that is STILL scared to talk freely about sex.

Now, I’m not telling you to tell every gruesome detail of your dirty encounters to your neighbors I am merely influencing you to be more open. Be open with yourself and with people you trust.

From a young age I learned what sex was. Was I ever scared of it? No.

Did I learn to respect myself? Yes. Absolutely.

I had a mother who told me about the birds and the bees, and as I got older the conversations progressed into more informative knowledge such as learning to protect myself from disease and pregnancy.

I was on birth control at a young age (for pms issues) but I had to be informed about all the facts that came along with it. I remember virgin, 16 year old me, was so uncomfortable with my doctor I couldn’t stop laughing.

She literally asked me if there was something on her face….. I was young, and so inexperienced that I had no idea what sex was but someday excited to find out.

In college, I had a friend recommended a class to me, human sexuality, and my goodness was it LIFE CHANGING.

What other class would I get to show bondage porn and tie up my classmate in? None…. this class had opened my eyes more then I ever though possible.

It taught be to be open with my sexual partner, it taught me consent and how to understand it, it taught me unforgettable life lessons I will forever pass on to my children.

When I started really talking about sex, I felt empowered.

People believe as a woman you are to be silent, discrete, and wait until marriage.

Well guess what?! It’s 2018.

That means women can do what ever they damn well please, and many of us do.

I can say that my sex life has benefited from being open immensely.

I tell my fiancé if I don’t like it, and guess what? I DONT ever have to deal with something I don’t like again.

Imagine this.. your partner keeps licking your ear, but it reminds you of a horrible time, but they keep doing it every time because you don’t say anything.. what is that going to do to your sex life? KILL.IT. All you need to say is ” I don’t like it when you…..” and if you are in a healthy relationship, that request will be respected.

This is just a start to a series I plan on writing, but if you want to improve your love making, nasty time, whatever you may call it… start with talking. Be open, and discuss in a positive manor. I promise you, only good things can happen.

Do you feel comfortable talking about sex? If yes why? If no please share? Any questions? Email me!